Looking Through the Crystal Ball for WWE Elimination Chamber, Fastlane and Wrestlemania 33
Billy Reil, former top of the line independent superstar has now decided to become the best journalist in the business. It didn’t take much really for me to become the best, I mean Dave Meltzer is a great journalist, but he still has that smart fan in him that prevents him from being biased towards certain subjects. Don’t get me wrong, Dave has been the best in the business for a long time, but what many readers and listeners don’t understand is that Dave is like a fan who peaks his head in the locker room before somebody notices him and kicks him out. Meanwhile, I’m a former star at least in the indies, I could have went to WWE and wrestled in the mecca of Madison Square Garden, but I decided that I’d rather live the life of an outlaw, and I’m shooting here. It wasn’t my best financial decision, but having sex with different women every weekend for 18 years was my apple in my “Garden of Eden”. So now I find myself in a state of change, I see the wrestling business completely different since I left the bubble, and I’m here to give you the fans the very best coverage that a writer can give. Now my style maybe a little different than what you’re used to, as I see a lot of cut and paste bullshit. Websites that don’t give you quality original content who rely on click bait are a fucking disgrace and they should all be shut down. You the fans deserve the very best and I’ve finally arrived to give you just that, so without further adieu let’s get to the news, let’s rub the crystal ball shall we?
Poor John Cena, Cena has the greatest match in Royal Rumble history (sorry Koko B. Ware VS The Mounty) and he will be rewarded by losing the title at Elimination Chamber apparently to Bray Wyatt, but don’t quote me on that even though that’s where the smart money will lie. There’s a very strong rumor that there will be a mixed tag match with Cena and Nikki Bella VS The Miz and Maryse. Now the finish is supposedly involving John bowing to a knee and popping the question to Nikki. Holy Shit. This will bring Total Bellas and Total Divas ratings through the fucking roof. At first I was like WTF, but like a good car crash, I will not be able to turn away. “Big match John” finally gives in to Nikki’s plea and I can’t stop and think how funny this is gonna be. WOW, but this is a Wrestlemania moment, This is Savage/Elizabeth-Wrestlemania 7 all over again. It’s why wrestling is great. Not everything has to be 5 stars. John needs this bad. This will show the fans a different side of John and shit maybe fans will stop booing him even in Chicago. Don’t be scared ye smart fan, there will plenty of 4 and maybe even a 5 star match at Mania, just not involving Cena. Word on the street is this will also be Nikki’s retirement match, but I can’t confirm this as of press time….Press time…what a work.
— Notes:
- Do we really need a Shaquille O’Neal VS Big Show match ? I’d put it on the pre-show.
- I would love to see Kurt Angle managing or being with Jordan and Gable at Mania.
- Taker is in bad shape, as he came back way too early in the rumble, and even though guys were being fed to him, his hip put him in extreme pain in the locker room, get well soon Taker.