Somehow I found myself watching Smackdown Live tonight. Honestly I could not tell you the last time I watched Smackdown, but here goes…
We open with The Miz complaining to Daniel Brian about not having a private locker room…. talk about privilege. Maryse looks nice though, I always dig her outfits. She may very well be the best dressed woman in wrestling, ever.
Daniel Brian tells him he gets his shot at Dean Ambrose tonight, Miz asks for a no DQ match, but DB has a much better idea, a LUMBERJACK MATCH! I like this very much.
Backstage with Randy Orton, he;s asked whats up with him and The Wyatt Family, He says “If you can’t beat them join them”. Weird.
Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper and Randy Orton make their way to the ring. I don’t get Bray Wyatt, I’ve seen him wrestle plenty, his gimmick is lame and so are his terrible fake dreadlocks. Where is Beefcake when we need him? So Randy Orton is going to fight Luke Harper, apparently this has been brewing for months. Wyatt is at ringside in a rocking chair. They lock up and struggle with each other for control. They do this back and forth, Harper takes a shoulder tackle and powders from the ring. Orton follows, and gets cracked in the ribs by Harper… Harper tosses him back in the ring, and takes control but Orton quickly cuts him off.
Harper get tossed over the top, when he gets back in Orton gives him the DDT. Harper rolls from the ring yet again. Orton chases out of him, gives him nice backdrop on the barricades, then again on the Spanish announce table, but Harper jumps up and kicks Orton in the face and falls back down. Wyatt gets out of his rocking chair and makes his way over the the action. He picks up Orton and rolls him back into the ring. The count is almost over, but Wyatt throws Harper into the ring as well, just in time. Oh a mid match commercial break… my least favorite thing! (Hey I am actually liking this match ok?)
We return from break and Harper has Orton in a chokehold in the middle of the ring. Orton works out of it, to only get body slammed. Harper attempts to go to the top, Orton follows him, and gives Harper the superplex off the 2nd rope. Cover by Orton but Harper gets out at the 2 count. More back and forth until Orton powerslams Harper, but again he escapes the pin. Harper gets a michnoku driver on Orton, but Orton kicks out. Orton tried RKO but gets cut off, Harper again almost pins Orton. Harper sets up Orton for some finisher but Orton gets out and gives him the RKO for the 3 count. Wyatt sits and rocks in the chair. Wyatt gets in the ring, helps Harper up. then knocks him out. Poor Luke Harper.
We come back from commercial Renee welcomes Mickie James to the ring. Renee asks Mickie a question, but Mickie starts by talking about her winning the Championship from Trish Stratus, and she is a 5 time champion. Mickie talks about how her accomplishments came way before these women today. That her accomplishments were being buried, but Alexa Bliss was the one person to fight the “Women’s Revolution”. Mickie goes on to talk about how Alexa was the only one to know who she was, and if it wasn’t for her she wouldn’t be standing in the ring right now. Forget about the revolution this is about Mickie James. Becky Lynch runs out from the locker room and attacks her but Alexa Bliss runs in from the crowd and attacks Lynch as she chases James. They then bring Lynch to the ring to further abuse Lynch. Poor Becky. Mickie James grabs the mic again to say something about always being one step ahead.
Returning from the break we are in a store with James Ellsworth and Carmella, shes going to try to get him some clothes… Ellsworth is excited to pick out clothes himself. He comes out wearing acid wash jeans, then a weird sweater, then a lumber jack, then the jeans an a women;s shirt.. sigh. Then Ellsworth Presley, then a pimp, then a red turtleneck. This is ridiculous. Carmella tells him no to all his choices.. She then dresses him like Rob Dyrdek in Gold Lame. eww.
After yet another break we are back, 10 man over the top challenge to get an entry into the match. Don’t expect me to know what is going on here…. The Vaudvillians are out first. then Curt Hawkins, then then, some Victor of Ascension, then Heath Slater, then Rhyno and Connor. Poor Rhyno. Fandango eliminated by his partner, and Mojo Rawley eliminated Tyler Breeze for the win. Except for Rhyno, and Heath Slater, I have no idea who any of these people are.
Cut to earlier today, an interview with Nikki Bella out by the staging trucks, she gets attacked by Natalya. Yay Nattie kick her ass.
AJ Styles comes to the ring to cut a promo about the Rumble, then John Cena comes to the ring, but AJ refuses to let him speak, then shows a clip from the Today show where John Cena is comparing the match to the super bowl, as its Patriots vs Falcons… A guy from Boston vs A guy from Atlanta. AJ Styles is way madder than I ever remember him. I like him much better this way. He tells Cena no one missed him, crowd starts chanting Cena… Styles said he just didn;t take his space, he replaced him. Ouch. Ok this promo is way too long I don’t care anymore, Cena gets the mic, no idea what he is saying as I am fast forwarding through this… No… Just no. Why can’t we just fight people????
Back from break, Kalisto vs Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler takes over early in the match but Kalisto cuts him off with his fast paced lucha moves sadly it doesn’t save him from a quick finish. Was that even a 3 count ref? Ziggler talking shit to JBL when Apollo Crews comes out and nails him with a chair. Ha!
The announce team say Natalya is fighting next, but honestly they are some nervy assholes alluding to her state of mental health. Mental health isn’t a joke. I hope Nattie fucks the announcers up more than Nikki Bella at this point.
Back from yet another break, Naomi dances her way to the ring, Natties music hits but instead they cut to Nikki Bella attacking Natalya backstage. Naomi says its not going down like that, shes not leaving until someone steps up to fight her. Alexa Bliss’s music hits, She says shes not out here to answer a challenge from nobody, makes fun of Naomi for not being on tv for 3 months, and asks her who she thinks she is. Naomi, says come down here, she will show her exactly who she is, and that she will be the new champion. Alexa gets on the apron then jumps back down and says Naomi isn’t worth her time. Booo. I hope when Naomi gets her hands on her she kicks her ass.
Time for The Miz vs Dean Ambrose (ICC) for the Intercontinental Championship. Its a lumberjack match so all the other guys on the roster are at ringside, to basically fuck em up, or throw them back in, either way. The match starts with Ambrose taking lead but it switches up quick. The Miz keeps trying to throw Ambrose to the lumberjacks so he doesn’t have to do the work. Ambrose fights him back, and clotheslines him over the top rope, and the lumberjacks jump him hard, they hate the Miz… and another mid match commercial. WTF. We come back and Miz and Ambrose are on the second rope, nothing good comes of it, and Ambrose ends up getting pulled out of the ring y the lumberjacks, but manages a quick roll up when he gets back int he ring. Ambrose is back outside, thrown back in after a short beating. Miz gets a 2 count. Ambrose is taking a beating, but we seen him come back from worse. Ambrose gets another roll up 2 count on the Miz, Ambrose ends up back outside again, and gives Miz the Lunatic Fringe Elbow from the top, but Miz kicks out. When they both get up Ambrose is fired up he throws the Miz out, and then jumps on him and the limberjacks. Maryse grabs the leg of Ambrose as he tries to get on the ring, and miz gets another 2 count on him. Both men ae down, Ambrose is beat up, takes a couple of big drop kicks from Miz, then dodges the third, Miz to the outside, getting beat by lumberjacks, but Ambrose goes for the elbow on the pile and takes everyone out. Ambrose grabs the Miz, throw him back in the ring, quick in roll up back and forth, then when Ambrose is about to pin the Miz, the lumberjacks take over the ring beat Ambrose, after the ring is cleared mix tries a quick pin, but it doesn’t work, Ambrose reverses, gives him a finisher, and retains the belt.
Overall it wasn’t bad, just too many commercial breaks. Remember this weekend you can catch the Royal Rumble on the WWE Network!
